Never Fail Cream Pie


Santa’s Recipes for a Great Christmas 5th Edition, p. 28

Baked pie shell
1 ¼ cups sugar
3 heaping tablespoons flour
Dash of salt
1 stick butter or margarine
1 pint half & half
Nutmeg

If you're like me, do the frozen pie shell up according to package instructions. 


Melt butter on medium heat. 

You are going to eat ALL OF THAT. Get excited.


Add half & half and sugar, salt and flour. 

Have fun with those lumps of flour.


Cook until thick, stirring constantly. I use a wire whisk. Pour into baked pie shell. 

The first COMPLETE FAIL: The recipe makes enough for like, one and a half pie shells. So you end up wasting a lot of filling.


Sprinkle with nutmeg.

But the biggest COMPLETE FAIL is that this recipe NEVER TELLS YOU TO BAKE THE DAMN THING. IT ENDS WITH YOU PUTTING LIQUID FILLING IN A PIE SHELL. So I Googled around and found another sugar cream pie recipe that sounded similar and it said to bake at 325F for 35-45 minutes. WHICH DID NOTHING BUT MAKE IT HOT. LIQUID AND HOT.

SO THEN I ATE IT LIKE A GLOOPY LIQUID HOT THING. WITH CRUST IN IT. 


My Rating: 1/5 "I mean, it never told you whether or not to BAKE the thing. That's not the kind of stuff you should leave it up to people to figure out for themselves, right? If anybody wants to try to salvage this, let me know the recipe you come up with and I'll post it. Until then, I'm off to enjoy a bowl full of buttery, sugary gloop."

Comments

  1. It looks like that recipe left eggs out. Or something that would hold all that liquid together. Was the bowl of buttery, sugary gloop at least tasty?

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    Replies
    1. Yeah I would say the only thing missing is eggs. Would be really nice with the recipe unchanged otherwise.

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  2. It actually didn't taste terrible! I'm mostly just angry at the recipe for sucking at life.

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